Purpose
Teaches dancers to ask for what they want in contact — a skill most people find harder than consenting. Dissolves the passivity that makes CI duets vague, and builds the honesty (AR: reveal your experience) that makes them alive.
Setup
Pairs.
Play
- "Take turns asking for a kind of contact you'd genuinely like: 'I'd love to lean back-to-back.' 'Could I rest my head on your shoulder?' 'I'd like you to press on my upper back.'"
- "Partner responds with a real yes or no. If yes, do it, briefly. If no, the asker says 'thank you' and asks for something else."
- "Notice what it's like to want something and say so out loud."
Cues
"Ask for the real thing." · "Wanting is allowed." · "A clear ask is a gift to your partner."
Variations
- Easier: choose from a menu of asks you offer.
- Deeper: ask for something you're slightly nervous to want.
Debrief
"What did you discover you wanted? Was it easier to ask, or to be asked?"
Watch For
Keep asks within the room's consent norms (Chapter 4). This can get intimate — reassert that asks are about the dance, and every no is honored.
Pairs With
Sets up Give and Take (#14) beautifully — the asking becomes wordless. Also a strong bridge into open jamming, where reading and offering desire is everything.